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- Nov 07, 2020
Funny Quotes
Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.
This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Mad
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- Nov 07, 2020
I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to have some sort of attitude toward the subject, and they seem to have it. It depends on how much blood you want to draw.
- Bath
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- Nov 07, 2020
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Nov 07, 2020
Never floss with a stranger.
- Hope
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- Nov 07, 2020
I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny.
- Great
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- Nov 07, 2020
Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
- Doing
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- Nov 07, 2020
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
- Effort
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- Nov 07, 2020
I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love storytellers. When I was growing up, my inspirations were watching Eddie Murphy, Dennis Wolfberg, and Louie Anderson. These guys were great at telling stories, and I made that my own style, talking about things that happened to me and trying to make them funny.
- Language
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- Nov 07, 2020
Comedy is just an unspoken language. Everybody understands it. Funny is funny. When it's not funny, they'll let you know.
- Love Is
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- Nov 07, 2020
If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I gave my heart to the Lord, and I remember the incident vividly. The Lord spoke to me. I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature.
- Authority Figures
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- Nov 07, 2020
That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020