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Jimmy Carr Quotes

Most Famous Jimmy Carr Quotes of All Time!

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Last Updated on May 30, 2021

People
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Nov 07, 2020

They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.

Nov 07, 2020

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

More
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Nov 07, 2020

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

Go
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Nov 07, 2020

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

Love
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Nov 07, 2020

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Down
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Nov 07, 2020

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

Marriage
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Nov 07, 2020

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.

Sound
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Nov 07, 2020

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

Offending
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Nov 07, 2020

I don't see myself as offending people.

Laugh
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Nov 07, 2020

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

Better
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Nov 07, 2020

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

Laugh
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Nov 07, 2020

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

Never
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Nov 07, 2020

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

Cater
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Nov 07, 2020

I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

First
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Nov 07, 2020

The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.

Laugh
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Nov 07, 2020

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

Go
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Nov 07, 2020

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

Joke
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Nov 07, 2020

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

Love
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Nov 07, 2020

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

Nothing
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Nov 07, 2020

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

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