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Funny Quotes

Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.

This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.

Last Updated on Nov 07, 2020

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Nov 07, 2020

A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.

Nov 07, 2020

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Nov 07, 2020

Prior to the 'Chappelle's Show,' you know, no one would even listen to me, in the frame of, 'Oh, he is trying to be funny.'

Nov 07, 2020

'Saturday Night Live' is a very particular beast. What it celebrates are individuals who can stand out. I did good work there, but going onstage and saying, 'Hey! Hey! Look at me! Aren't I funny?' - that just wasn't my instinct.

Nov 07, 2020

In the happy scenes there were really fun times. Sean would say really funny stuff because he likes to improv. I would want to laugh, but you are not allowed to do that during the take.

Nov 07, 2020

It's funny: when I started playing bass in 1984, you had guys like Paul Simonon fron the Clash, John Paul Jones, Lemmy, and Nikki Sixx was the head guy in Motley Crue, and you had all this post-punk stuff like Magazine and Killing Joke where the bass sort of lead the way. Not that I picked it to sort of be a main dude, but it intrigued me.

Nov 07, 2020

It's pretty funny, just driving by in a cab, and you see a huge billboard of yourself on the side of a hotel, like a 100-by-100 poster hanging up.

Nov 07, 2020

The ideas that you find funny and the things that you are offering to an audience are tied up with who you are and your soul and your heart.

Nov 07, 2020

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.

Nov 07, 2020

The funny thing is that people see one film like 'Racing Stripes' or 'Ice Princess' and all of a sudden, slip me into this category of 'that's what she's always involved in.'

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Nov 07, 2020

My big brother Ryan was funny and unfailingly kind. He was one of the most talented musicians you might encounte, and had a prodigious ability to pick up any instrument and play it by ear within the span of a single day.

Nov 07, 2020

I'd so much rather people think I was funny than pretty.

Nov 07, 2020

I was so gangly, even sneakers looked awkward. Everybody kind of goes through some phase, and it's hard if you're singled out for anything. But there was this one boy in particular who made fun of me, and - it's funny - then later, when we were 18 or 19, he wanted to go out with me.

Nov 07, 2020

But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.

Nov 07, 2020

You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.

Nov 07, 2020

I'm a terrific mimic, and you can feel my funny bone.

Nov 07, 2020

Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.

Nov 07, 2020

It's really easy to be funny. You get a lot of funny people in a room, the show is funny.

Nov 07, 2020

There is definitely a pressure for funny people to be funny. People want them to perform all the time.

Nov 07, 2020

It's fun to be able to have a fun palate, and the way I say that, you think about it and it sounds funny, but it's true.

One entry acknowledges generations of funny women who faced far more resistance than their male peers before finally being taken seriously. Readers can also browse Captions for quick shareable lines, or Riddles for something more puzzle-like.

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