Jimmy Kimmel Quotes

Most Famous Jimmy Kimmel Quotes of All Time!

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Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Nov 07, 2020

I'm a terrible golfer.

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

Almost every week, someone's mad at me.

Only
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Nov 07, 2020

I only get unusual ailments.

House
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Nov 07, 2020

I have like fifteen televisions in my house.

Creative
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.

Getting Drunk
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Nov 07, 2020

There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.

Authority Figures
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Nov 07, 2020

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.

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