- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
Joke Quotes
Most Famous Joke Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best joke quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Joke Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Say
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- Nov 07, 2020
When someone says, 'I recognize you,' I'll say, 'Congratulations on having a TV.' It's a little joke.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am a ham, I like to joke around.
- Nothing
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- Nov 07, 2020
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing.
- Music
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- Nov 07, 2020
Venom was a joke in the '80s, their heavy metal music sucked big time, and I really have no interest in them - not then, not now.
- Friends
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- Nov 07, 2020
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
- Neighbor
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- Nov 07, 2020
In Europe, they travel a lot lighter. I always joke that my Indonesian passengers bring their house and their neighbor's house.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.
- Everyone
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- Nov 07, 2020
Everyone's heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.
- Music
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- Nov 07, 2020
To me, music is not a stunt. Music is not a joke. I take every lick of music that I've ever played very serious.
- Myself
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- Nov 07, 2020
I had this website that, at one point, I listed myself as 'actor, writer, comedian, and fart enthusiast' just because I thought that would be a really clear joke.
- Nov 07, 2020
Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of revolutionary avant-gardism.
- Cricket
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Pakistan Cricket Board is a long-standing joke, its chairmen replaced with every change of government.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
- Perception
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- Nov 07, 2020
Prior to 'Tokyo Drift,' the iconic perception of Asians in Hollywood films has been either the Kung Fu guy, the Yakuza guy or some technical genius. It used to be such a joke, to be laughed at rather than with.
- Process
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- Nov 07, 2020
What I find shocking is that there's this thought process that Hillary Clinton is going to be president of the United States, and to even think of Donald Trump is a joke.
- Nov 07, 2020
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
- Traffic
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- Nov 07, 2020
That L.A. traffic is no joke.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage.
- Luck
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- Nov 07, 2020
I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it.
- Keep
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- Nov 07, 2020
If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke.
- Donald Trump
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- Nov 07, 2020
Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke.
- I Can
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- Nov 07, 2020
If I can relate to the joke, it's going to be funny.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed... but it's all in good fun.
- Only
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- Nov 07, 2020
What I've said before, only half in joke, is that everybody in Ireland is famous. Or, maybe better, say everybody is familiar.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.
- Man
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- Nov 07, 2020
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true.
- False
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.
- Mom
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- Nov 07, 2020
At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a joke, but she was very serious.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
Whenever my family brought up the topic of my marriage, I'd joke that I would marry only a princess.
- Nov 07, 2020
Wearing heels is no joke.
- Leaf
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- Nov 07, 2020
There was a joke going around campus when I was at Washington State. It went, 'What's the difference between God and Ryan Leaf?' The punchline was, 'God doesn't think he's Ryan Leaf.'
- Law
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- Nov 07, 2020
We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law.
- Nov 07, 2020
I don't want to ever tell a stereotype joke for the sake of it. I'm going to tell the story that I feel is true.
- Meaning
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- Nov 07, 2020
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.
- Just
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- Nov 07, 2020
I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're just comedy recitals on a given subject.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.
- Someone
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- Nov 07, 2020
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else.
- Nov 07, 2020
You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with some one else.
- First
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every vision is a joke until the first man accomplishes it; once realized, it becomes commonplace.
- Desire
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- Nov 07, 2020
We made the joke when we screened 'Bucket List' that there was 100% desire to see amongst our demographic with a 40% ability to get them to see it.
- Moment
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like the rhythm of comedy in dramas, if that makes sense. In other words, I don't want to write setup, punch, setup, punch, where the joke dictates the scene; I want to find comedy in which the drama is actually driving the moment in the scene.
- Happy
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- Nov 07, 2020
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence.
- Nov 07, 2020
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.
- Nov 07, 2020
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
- Two
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- Nov 07, 2020
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I used to think of it as a joke that all paranoids were right. That was a joke in the '60s, but now I'm convinced that people should be paranoid reflexively - and then pare it down from there if there's any indication that they're wrong.
- Person
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- Nov 07, 2020
Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy.
- Music
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- Nov 07, 2020
My music has a high irritation factor. I've always tried to say something. Eccentric lyrics about eccentric people. Often it was a joke. But I would plead guilty on the grounds that I prefer eccentricity to the bland.
- Game
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- Nov 07, 2020
Following well-established national security screening procedures and accurately informing Congress about them is not a joke or a political game. It is essential to guaranteeing that our national secrets are protected and to preventing possible blackmailing of key administration officials.
- City
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- Nov 07, 2020
In 1975, I left the burning city of Beirut for the quiet insanity of England. To say that short, frail and wispy 15-year-old me didn't fit in would be such an understatement as to be a joke.
- Prison
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- Nov 07, 2020
I couldn't afford to get sick in prison. My sickle cell is no joke, so I couldn't eat poorly or not exercise. And everything in jail is designed to do the exact opposite.
- Challenge
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- Nov 07, 2020
Historically, Heathrow has been something of a joke, outweighed by its excellent connections. We have to aspire to having an airport at Heathrow with two runways which is a world-class airport. It's a big challenge.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Somebody from Pitchfork Festival wanted me to have a Microphones reunion. It's a joke. It's just me.
- Grown Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke.
- Nov 07, 2020
For the amount of talent I had - and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke - I enjoyed a tremendous career.
- Crazy
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- Nov 07, 2020
A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.
- Next
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- Nov 07, 2020
What you never want to do is have a story that doesn't track emotionally, because then you're going joke to joke and you're going to fatigue the audience. The only thing that's going to string them to the next joke is how successful the previous joke is.
- Honor
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- Nov 07, 2020
The term 'steampunk' itself, now a badge of honor, began as a putdown, a joke. But like 'Big Bang' in cosmology, the diss became the standard.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
They all want to be me. They do! What everybody else says they will do, I've already been doing. They all want to be me. It's become a joke in Congress how Dr. Gingrey and Mr. Kingston have been following my votes. They've even changed votes to what I voted, multiple times. Members of Congress are laughing about it.
- Nature
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- Nov 07, 2020
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.
- Game
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
- Game
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love to play the game, love to be around the rink, and love to joke around with my teammates and have some fun.
- Little Brother
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed.
- Irish
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
- Nov 07, 2020
Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.
- Runway
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- Nov 07, 2020