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Joke Quotes

What comedians say about making people laugh.

Several quotes here come from people who make a living off timing, including one who admits to softening blunt criticism by wrapping it in humor first, describing it like a cut followed by a few stitches. Another describes the frustrating double standard where the exact same line lands only when a man delivers it.

Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Government
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Nov 07, 2020

Most of us don't think forwarding a racist joke or speaking in an insulting 'comedic' accent is appropriate at the workplace. Unfortunately, for those raised in the toxic culture of conservatism, the sort of mentality that leads government employees to do those things is widespread.

Quotes by Alex Pareene

Never
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Nov 07, 2020

I've never pitched a joke that I wouldn't be comfortable seeing in a Pixar film.

Quotes by Alex Hirsch

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

I watched the classics as a kid, and I could tell that Bugs Bunny in drag was a cartoon and a joke. It didn't make me start dressing in drag.

Quotes by Alex Hirsch

Nobody
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Nov 07, 2020

I often joke that I've just become a professional schmoozer. Like, nobody cares how well I can rock climb anymore. It just has to do with how well I can schmooze.

Quotes by Alex Honnold

Nov 07, 2020

If people are laughing at you, you might as well be in on the joke.

Quotes by Alaska

Humor
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Nov 07, 2020

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.

Quotes by Alan King

Progress
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Nov 07, 2020

Americans do believe in progress and there is almost certainly a kernel of truth in the joke.

Quotes by Alan Dundes

Know
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Nov 07, 2020

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

One quote is almost a shrug, from someone who says they rarely understand what people find funny about their own material even as others laugh along. For more on comic timing and mood, see our humor quotes and laughter quotes pages.

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