- Experience
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- Nov 07, 2020
Funny Quotes
Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.
This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Humor
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was intentionally curbing the impulse to be funny and hiding the ability. I wrote any number of very serious attempts at poems, short stories, novels - horrible. At a certain point, I recognized that it was fun to write dialogue that had a degree of lightness and humor.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
It was funny because on the day that I joined the club, the newspaper that broke the news was one that people don't always trust or believe. Then, when I signed, and there were pictures of me and Sir Alex Ferguson, people believed it.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.
- Parents
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- Nov 07, 2020
When my parents were dating, they were very poor, so my dad couldn't take my mom out. They would go to the grocery store and pick out funny looking vegetables. When I grew up, we'd still go and find the ones with personality.
- Heart
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.
- Nov 07, 2020
It's funny that as soon as I retired from international football, Italy won the World Cup.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I can't imagine bringing in somebody else to direct my show. Wouldn't that be funny, if next season I had, like, Michael Bay come in and direct 'Better Things'? I wonder what that would be like?
- Daughter
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's spelled, like, S-E-R-G. I always thought it would be funny if I called my son 'Sir.' Like calling your daughter 'Ma'am,' or something like that.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
My career only took off because of one football game. I thought it was funny. 'Playboy' called and offered me a cover just like that. I turned them down initially, because I was nervous about it and my boyfriend at the time didn't want me to do it, but they kept coming back, so I eventually said yes.
- Friends And Family
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don't have any problem telling me I'm acting like an idiot or I'm not that funny.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
- Gun
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- Nov 07, 2020
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
- Nov 07, 2020