- Change
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- Nov 07, 2020
Funny Quotes
Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.
This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Nov 07, 2020
It's funny, but I always feel really safe on the streets of London. It's the most inspiring place to be in the world.
- Money
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- Nov 07, 2020
You know, it's funny... when you're making money, people don't think you're playing jazz. Now when you're not making money, people think that you're a good jazz musician.
- Failure
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- Nov 07, 2020
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.
- Living
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- Nov 07, 2020
Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
- Long
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- Nov 07, 2020
I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny.
- Eating
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy.
- Fear
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- Nov 07, 2020