- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Funny Quotes
Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.
This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Die
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't know if the art of stand-up will survive. Stand-up seems dated. Now you can do a mini-movie or a short with a beginning, middle, and end. A guy standing there seems a little old - especially when you can go on the Internet and see 'Funny or Die.'
- Call
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- Nov 07, 2020
Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't think you can teach people how to be funny. You can make suggestions about how to speak a line or get a laugh, but it has to be in them.
- Forecast
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- Nov 07, 2020
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
- Nov 07, 2020
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
- Past
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- Nov 07, 2020
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
- School
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- Nov 07, 2020
For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.
- Nov 07, 2020
Bill Murray is a wonderful actor, and he's very funny, and I've seen him be serious and terrific.
- Business
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
- Lose
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- Nov 07, 2020