- Me
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Funny Quotes
Everyday humor, seen through a few different lenses.
This collection finds humor in ordinary places, from a parent delighted by how funny children naturally are to a musician writing entire songs around invented funny characters. For sharper one-liners, see Jokes.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Nov 07, 2020
Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I think I write funny songs that make people kind of, like, stop what they're doing and be like, 'What did you say?' And then it makes them laugh a little bit.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
- Hell
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Respect
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
- Myself
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
- Eating
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not a fussy eater, but when I'm travelling, I try to stick to the same regime and just have my chicken and my mash and broccoli. Otherwise, you start eating all these funny delicacies, and it makes your tummy turn upside down.
- Me
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm dying for people to let me be funny!
- Love
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Every time I do a play, I'm like, 'When do I get to do the one where I wear a gown, sit in a chair, and say funny things?' I'd love to do that.
- Nature
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
By nature, my default place is a very introverted one, so it's funny to be in such an extroverted profession. I'm a little inappropriately in it.
- Different Kinds
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing it? Different kinds of women, female friendships: It's all pretty funny, and worth making fun of.
- Life
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
It's funny to be playing a mom. I mean, I'm not a mom in real life. I don't even have a dog.
- Great
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny; I'll go on trips with them - I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a really good mom; I know what she put into it.
- Great
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
The funny thing about voice over is you can go in in sweatpants and have your hair all messed up, and no one will see you, and you can still deliver the same great product.
- Live
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.
- Positive
- |
- Nov 07, 2020