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Doctor Quotes

For the profession everyone jokes about.

Several of these quotes lean into classic doctor humor, the kind of one-liner about bills and bedside manner that fits naturally alongside the doctor jokes collection.

Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Funny
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Nov 07, 2020

My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother being so mechanical-minded. My father always wanted to be a doctor, but he came from a really poor family in Georgia, and there was no way he was going to be a doctor.

Quotes by Herbie Hancock

Politics
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Nov 07, 2020

When we are sick, we want an uncommon doctor; when we have a construction job to do, we want an uncommon engineer, and when we are at war, we want an uncommon general. It is only when we get into politics that we are satisfied with the common man.

Quotes by Herbert Hoover

Nov 07, 2020

There is no employing class, no working class, no farming class. You may pigeonhole a man or woman as a farmer or a worker or a professional man or an employer or even a banker. But the son of the farmer will be a doctor or a worker or even a banker, and his daughter a teacher. The son of a worker will be an employer - or maybe president.

Quotes by Herbert Hoover

He
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Nov 07, 2020

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

Live
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Nov 07, 2020

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

People
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Nov 07, 2020

People with visions should go to the doctor.

Quotes by Helmut Schmidt

Best
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Nov 07, 2020

I do think it's well over-time to have a female Doctor Who. I think a gay, black female Doctor Who would be the best of all.

Quotes by Helen Mirren

Mother
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Nov 07, 2020

When I decided to become a doctor, I was very, very young, when my mother, her seventh child, became pregnant, and she was feeling terrible pain, and I could not know how to help her. And my mother died in front of my eyes, without knowing why, which diagnosis. So I decided to be a doctor.

Quotes by Hawa Abdi

Follow
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Nov 07, 2020

I always wanted to follow in the footsteps of my maternal grandfather, who was a doctor.

Quotes by Hasnat Khan

Nov 07, 2020

My father was a research doctor at the National Institutes of Health in the early 1980s, and you couldn't work in the field and not know about D. Carleton Gajdusek, who my father often mentioned.

Quotes by Hanya Yanagihara

Nov 07, 2020

I would never date a celebrity. I would want someone with real skills. Doctor, nurse, electrician... tailor.

Quotes by Hannah Gadsby

Music
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Nov 07, 2020

My parents are so supportive of whatever we want to do and completely nurtured that, and they're so proud of that as well. My sister's a doctor, and I have an older brother as well. He went into the music industry; he's very musically talented.

Quotes by Hannah John-Kamen

Nov 07, 2020

At drama school, a casting director asked the class to walk round the room one at a time, and we had to imagine who they might be. The two before me were described as a doctor and a businessman, but when it came to me, they said homeless person. That was when I thought I'd better do something about my appearance!

Quotes by Gwilym Lee

Nov 07, 2020

You should just enjoy it, but as soon as you decide that it is going to be your career, no matter whether you want to be a doctor or an architect or anything else, you need to work 5 hours a day.

Quotes by Guy Forget

Football
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Nov 07, 2020

Why can't a seven-foot guy play a doctor? Why can't I be a teacher? Why can't I be a football coach? Why can't I be a cab driver? Anything. Anything else than that. I can cry. I can do those things that they think the big guys can't do. So just give us a chance.

Quotes by Grizz Chapman

Family
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Nov 07, 2020

I am living in Norway, where I am under the care of the best cancer doctor in Norway and I can be closer to my family.

Quotes by Grete Waitz

Mother
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Nov 07, 2020

My mother, a teacher, encouraged me to use my creativity as an actual way to make a living, and my father, a Mississippi physician, did two things. First, he taught me that all human beings should be treated equally because no one is better than anyone else, and he never pressured me to become a doctor.

Quotes by Greg Iles

Father
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Nov 07, 2020

My father served as an Army doctor in West Germany in the late '50s and early '60s. As a result, he and my mother - both native southerners - were acutely aware of what had happened during the Holocaust.

Quotes by Greg Iles

Sick
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Nov 07, 2020

America is sick and tired of spending hour upon hour sitting in their automobile trying to get to work, trying to get kids to school, trying to get to a doctor's appointment.

Quotes by Greg Abbott

Others take it more seriously, describing the decision to leave medicine behind for a different path. Related collections include Doctor Who and doctorate quotes.

Doctor Quotes

For the profession everyone jokes about.

Others take it more seriously, describing the decision to leave medicine behind for a different path. Related collections include Doctor Who and doctorate quotes.

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