- Nov 07, 2020
Stephen Colbert Quotes
Most Famous Stephen Colbert Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor.
- Ego
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- Nov 07, 2020
There's a degree of narcissism involved in anything in show business. I mean, you can't do it without a healthy ego. Why would you want anybody to listen to you?
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I look, absolutely, like I'm going to sell you insurance.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm very comfortable with uncomfortable situations, and I think that can seem odd to people, that I like the thrill of discomfort.
- Mistake
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- Nov 07, 2020
Make no mistake: I love women. I'm married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of 'Romeo and Juliet.' No one else could fit into the bodice.
- Fall
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- Nov 07, 2020
I believe gender is a spectrum, and I fall somewhere between Channing Tatum and Winnie the Pooh.
- Just
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Simply being a guest on David Letterman's show has been a highlight of my career. I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave's lead. I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.
- Comedy Central
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- Nov 07, 2020
The first time I met Jon Stewart was at the press conference that Comedy Central held to announce Jon would be the new host of 'The Daily Show,' which back then was not called 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'
- Memory
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- Nov 07, 2020
My favorite off-camera memory of Jon Stewart is watching him jump from the second level of a tuna tower into the waters off Grand Cayman.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
We are thrilled that Jon Batiste is joining 'The Late Show' family of products. For my money, nobody plays like Jon Batiste. And you can trust me, because it is my money.
- Character
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- Nov 07, 2020
I started off at the Second City in Chicago... It's an improvisational theater that ostensibly does social and political satire, but when I was there, we generally didn't. We did character work, and we did just the silliest things we could think of. We weren't all that concerned with, you know, changing the world through mime.
- High
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I got to 'The Daily Show,' they asked me to have a political opinion. It turned out that I had one, but I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
- Really
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- Nov 07, 2020
Who really wants to be themselves when they're teenagers?
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
I liked comedy as a kid. When I was a kid, I'd go to sleep to, like, Bill Cosby albums every night. I'd listen to 'Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow... Right!' and 'Wonderfulness,' which are two of his most famous albums. Then the next night, I'd flip them over, 'cause it was the old stackable turntable.
- Comedy
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- Nov 07, 2020
I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.
- Furthest
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- Nov 07, 2020
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow.
- Prove
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- Nov 07, 2020