Top 10 Stephen Colbert Quotes

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Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Nov 07, 2020

I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you.

People
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Nov 07, 2020

Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor.

Ego
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Nov 07, 2020

There's a degree of narcissism involved in anything in show business. I mean, you can't do it without a healthy ego. Why would you want anybody to listen to you?

Like
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Nov 07, 2020

I look, absolutely, like I'm going to sell you insurance.

People
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm very comfortable with uncomfortable situations, and I think that can seem odd to people, that I like the thrill of discomfort.

Mistake
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Nov 07, 2020

Make no mistake: I love women. I'm married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of 'Romeo and Juliet.' No one else could fit into the bodice.

Fall
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Nov 07, 2020

I believe gender is a spectrum, and I fall somewhere between Channing Tatum and Winnie the Pooh.

Just
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian.

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

Simply being a guest on David Letterman's show has been a highlight of my career. I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave's lead. I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.

Comedy Central
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Nov 07, 2020

The first time I met Jon Stewart was at the press conference that Comedy Central held to announce Jon would be the new host of 'The Daily Show,' which back then was not called 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'

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