- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Doctor Quotes
For the profession everyone jokes about.
Several of these quotes lean into classic doctor humor, the kind of one-liner about bills and bedside manner that fits naturally alongside the doctor jokes collection.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I grew up on 'Doctor Who,' and they used to do holiday specials every single year, and it just made me so happy that it was just sort of this tradition every year.
- Moment
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- Nov 07, 2020
The moment my doctor told me, I went silent. My mum and dad were with me, then we all went to pieces. I was saying, No, I've got my flight to Sydney in two hours. I'm getting on a plane.
- Political
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- Nov 07, 2020
If a doctor said you had stomach cancer, would you consult Rush Limbaugh for a second opinion? Of course, that sounds like nonsense, but many Americans have no qualms about listening to political commentators and untrained activists when it comes to even more complex scientific questions.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
The doctor gave me several warnings: Never tell anyone unless necessary, because I might be ostracized. Call it 'seizure disorder,' not epilepsy, because fewer people would be frightened. Try to choose a profession as free from stress as possible.
- Family
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor.
- Face
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- Nov 07, 2020
I got so anxious sitting in the make-up chair for hours with my face covered. I had my doctor write a prescription for valium. I couldn't have done it without the pill.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
Running just makes me happy. I love the freedom of running. I ran until I was seven and a half months pregnant with each of my babies. When I gave birth to my first son, my doctor said I couldn't run for six weeks. I was sneaking back out after eight days.
- History
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- Nov 07, 2020
I really discovered I had thyroid disease by accident. My son was having some health concerns, and as I filled out his patient history I noticed I had a lot of similar symptoms. I mentioned it to the doctor, and he ran blood work and finally an ultrasound of my thyroid.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was good at being a doctor; my patients liked me. At times people trust you with things they wouldn't tell their spouses. It was a real privilege.
- End
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- Nov 07, 2020
There's an issue with the Medicare doctor reimbursement rates where at the end of the year every doctor that folks in this country use that provide Medicare services is going to get a 30 percent salary cut.
- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
My mother was a doctor, and I grew up with her in a little apartment belonging to my grandmother, because the Soviet Union never saw fit to let our family have its own apartment.
- Biologists
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I went to Amazonia, l went as the field doctor for biologists studying crocodile behavior. There's no way humans should have any encounters with crocodiles. You should stay away from them!
- Night
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I finished my residency in New Orleans, I went to L.A. where I would work as a doctor during the day, and then at night I would actually go to The Improv and do standup, all the while kind of cultivating my comedy resume.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020