- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Chris Rock Quotes
Most Famous Chris Rock Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best chris-rock quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Chris Rock Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Me
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times.
- Common Knowledge
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.
- Big Fan
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
- Country
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.
- Nov 07, 2020
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
- Own
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
- Christopher
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
- Look
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
- Looks
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
- Four
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
- Man
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
A man is only as faithful as his options.
- Oscars
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
- Hang
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
- Gun
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
- Hollywood
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Hollywood's just not funny.
- Children
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
- Know
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
- High
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
- Make
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
- Pretty Girls
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Pretty girls have problems too.
- Crazy
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
- Comedy Club
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
- Only
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
- Like
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
- Doing
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
- Get A Real
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
- Better
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
- Live
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I live way below my means.
- Live
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I'm thinking, 'I've got 45 grand left!' Taxes didn't even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture.
- Black
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
- Comedy
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
- Hack
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
- Law
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
- Life
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
- Go
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
- I Think
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.
- Need
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
- Love
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
- I Can
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
- Nov 07, 2020
My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
- Got
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
- Country
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
- Find
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
- Country
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
America is the greatest country in the whole world.
- Men
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
- People
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
- Like
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
- Good
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
- Change
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.
- Situation
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife.
- Past
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy. I don't think you want to see me in 'Raisin in the Sun'.
- Beauty
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.
- Credit Card
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.
- Carver
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
- Comedy
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.
- Me
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
- Being
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
- Good
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
- Name
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.
- Love
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I love what's happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.
- Personality
- |
- Nov 07, 2020
I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.
- Demons
- |
- Nov 07, 2020