- Drink
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- Nov 07, 2020
W C Fields Quotes
Most Famous W C Fields Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Liked
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never met a kid I liked.
- Keep
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
- Last
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- Nov 07, 2020
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
- Lunch
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
- Bad
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- Nov 07, 2020
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
- Great
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- Nov 07, 2020
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
- Rather
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- Nov 07, 2020
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
- Father
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
- Even
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never give a sucker an even break.
- Getting
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- Nov 07, 2020
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
- Far
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- Nov 07, 2020
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
- Drink
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- Nov 07, 2020
I must have a drink of breakfast.
- Death
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- Nov 07, 2020
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
- May
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
- Easy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
- Best
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- Nov 07, 2020
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
- Duty
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- Nov 07, 2020
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
- Over
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- Nov 07, 2020
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
- House
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- Nov 07, 2020
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
- Nov 07, 2020
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
- Everything
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
- Blonde
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
- Live
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- Nov 07, 2020
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
- Carry
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- Nov 07, 2020
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- Call
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- Nov 07, 2020
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
- Fish
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- Nov 07, 2020
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
- Cure
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- Nov 07, 2020
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- Always
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
- Free
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- Gone
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- Nov 07, 2020
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
- Money
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- Nov 07, 2020
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- Hell
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- Nov 07, 2020
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
- Fool
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- Nov 07, 2020
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
- Look
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- Nov 07, 2020
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
- Keep
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- Nov 07, 2020
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
- Man
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- Nov 07, 2020
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
- Fried
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- Nov 07, 2020