- Comedy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Tim Allen Quotes
Most Famous Tim Allen Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Friendship
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- Nov 07, 2020
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
- Care
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- Nov 07, 2020
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
- Everything
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- Nov 07, 2020
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
- Car
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- Nov 07, 2020
In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.
- Thing
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a thing for tools.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
- Mean
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- Nov 07, 2020
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
- Graphics
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.
- Democracy
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?
- Big
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- Nov 07, 2020
The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
- Lot
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- Nov 07, 2020
I do a lot of family shows.
- Experience
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- Nov 07, 2020
In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever.
- Easy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
- Comedy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's true; I have a skill and it's... it has not related to acting, it's not related to auditions, it's not related to studios, not related to public whim. It's whether I'm funny or not and whether I can entertain people.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
- God
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- Nov 07, 2020