- Kid
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- Nov 07, 2020
Steven Wright Quotes
Most Famous Steven Wright Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best steven-wright quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Steven Wright Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Child
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
- Children
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- Nov 07, 2020
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
- Long
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- Nov 07, 2020
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
- Busted
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- Nov 07, 2020
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Friend
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- Nov 07, 2020
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
- Just
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- Nov 07, 2020
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
- Now
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
- Girl
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- Nov 07, 2020
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
- Extension
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- Nov 07, 2020
I invented the cordless extension cord.
- Friend
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- Nov 07, 2020
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
- Die
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- Nov 07, 2020
How young can you die of old age?
- Far
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- Nov 07, 2020