- Believe
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- Nov 07, 2020
Lisa Lampanelli Quotes
Most Famous Lisa Lampanelli Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I heard Cher say, 'I answer to two people: Myself and God.' I say, 'I only answer to me. I'm not sure I appreciate God's opinion.'
- Food
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- Nov 07, 2020
I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny.
- Fat
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- Nov 07, 2020
By Hollywood standards I'm still fat: until you are zero, you are big. I do get cold a lot now. I used to have a lot of layers - now I got to get a fur coat.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines.
- Hate
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- Nov 07, 2020
I hate comics who look at comedy as therapy. But at least it gets things out of my system in a funny way.
- Mystery
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- Nov 07, 2020
I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've never wanted to be a person where somebody would be like, 'I like her; she's okay.' Love or hate is fine, because it sells tickets.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
With Don Rickles and me, we're just telling the truth. We're not terrific people, and we're not gonna win the beauty contest. We're just average Joes. We're just being who we are, and I think people like that.
- Being
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- Nov 07, 2020
Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it's rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that's about it. That's why she's special: because she can combine it.
- Mad
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- Nov 07, 2020
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that.
- Enough
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- Nov 07, 2020
I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built.
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
My thing has always been, I've never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving... It's all because of him... He's made me a better person... I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes.
- Hair
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- Nov 07, 2020