- Comic
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- Nov 07, 2020
George Carlin Quotes
Most Famous George Carlin Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best george-carlin quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 George Carlin Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Day
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- Nov 07, 2020
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
- Light
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- Nov 07, 2020
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
- Eulogy
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
- Far
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- Nov 07, 2020
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
- Memories
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
- Family
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- Nov 07, 2020
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
- Death
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
- Fire
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- Nov 07, 2020
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
- Nov 07, 2020
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Mean
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- Nov 07, 2020
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
- Idiot
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- Nov 07, 2020
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- Think
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- Nov 07, 2020