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Elayne Boosler Quotes

Most Famous Elayne Boosler Quotes of All Time!

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Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Long
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Nov 07, 2020

I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in their stuff after that, that's great - as long as they just have a chance to step back and look at it for a second. Sometimes, you don't even realize what you've been thinking for 20 years.

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

East Coast
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Nov 07, 2020

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Outside
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Nov 07, 2020

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

Death
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Nov 07, 2020

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.

Men
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Nov 07, 2020

I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women.

Job
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Nov 07, 2020

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

Cards
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Nov 07, 2020

I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards.

Game
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Nov 07, 2020

I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?

Dogs
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Nov 07, 2020

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.

Cute
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Nov 07, 2020

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

Call
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Nov 07, 2020

Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.

Food
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Nov 07, 2020

We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.

Funny
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Nov 07, 2020

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Great
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Nov 07, 2020

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

Born
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Nov 07, 2020

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

Food
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Nov 07, 2020

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

Morals
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Nov 07, 2020

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Men
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Nov 07, 2020

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

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