- Education
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- Nov 07, 2020
Andy Kindler Quotes
Most Famous Andy Kindler Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Left
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- Nov 07, 2020
I wanted to like 'Up in the Air' - I like Jason Reitman - but Vera Farmiga left me cold.
- Best Picture
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- Nov 07, 2020
'The Graduate' should have won best picture over 'In the Heat of the Night.'
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for 'Modern Romance.' I love that movie.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage - although I realize I'm supposed to punctuate it with jokes.
- Favorite
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- Nov 07, 2020
My favorite comedians are basically themselves onstage.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a true love for the old style of Catskill comic. There's a joy in discovering a bad joke... and then there's the joy of delivering it like, 'Isn't this a hacky joke?'
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
I sold door to door for a couple years. As the years recede from the event, I remember less about it, which is probably good for my mind. It was home improvement in Cerritos California, Buena Park, that area.
- Phone
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone.
- Product
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- Nov 07, 2020
I did not sell Amway, but I sold Shaklee, which was an Amway-type product sold through multi-level marketing.
- Nov 07, 2020
I will say that I wasn't susceptible to Tony Robbins-like pitches, even as a younger man.
- Night
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- Nov 07, 2020
If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn't work that way... I have no interest in hurting people's feelings.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more.
- Anything
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not trying to do anything except entertain America.
- Gift
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- Nov 07, 2020
The cliche that comics always use is that whatever is happening in the news is 'the gift that keeps on giving.' I always thought that was a bunch of nonsense.
- Get
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- Nov 07, 2020
I came out to L.A. in '78 to be a musician. I didn't get into comedy until the mid-Eighties.
- Guitarist
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- Nov 07, 2020
Very unique: I was a singer-songwriter-guitarist. Very unusual in the late Seventies to find a singer-songwriter, and on top of that, a guitarist.
- Name
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- Nov 07, 2020
My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere.
- Nobody
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- Nov 07, 2020
I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It's such a tricky thing; you don't want to make rules about it. There's nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he'd break every rule you set up. But he's funny.
- Figuring
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think that most people will spend their whole life not figuring out what they're meant to do, or figuring out what they're meant to do on their way to do something else. So I just feel lucky that I know what I love to do. Everything else figures itself out.
- Mission
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm on a mission. If I can make even one person not enjoy something they're currently enjoying, it's all worth it!
- Close
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not really in Louis CK's circle. It'd probably be harder if we were really close and I went off on him.
- Get
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've never been paid as a prognosticator. I don't get a lot of work as a mentalist.
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I'm in a deli somewhere, and someone says they love that Adam Sandler movie where he dresses up as his twin sister - well, I don't want to make people feel bad for how they feel about things. I'm always courteous, not mean.
- Nobody
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- Nov 07, 2020
Nobody gets excited when they see me. If I put on my wizard outfit and walk around the airport for a couple of hours, I get a couple of puzzled glances.
- Pizza
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- Nov 07, 2020
You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.
- Blame
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- Nov 07, 2020
The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it's pretty ludicrous.
- Fun
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- Nov 07, 2020
If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.
- Business
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- Nov 07, 2020
I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not a confrontational person in real life, so I really don't wanna get into arguments or fistfights with people I'm making fun of.
- Country
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.
- Myself
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't consider myself a political comedian because it's so hard. It takes time away from me saying terrible things about TV.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he's ready to go.
- Know
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- Nov 07, 2020
Can we all admit that 'Parks and Recreation' is horrible? Is this something we would all know, but don't say? Maybe everything should not be improv'd.
- God
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- Nov 07, 2020
Why did God have to make Mo'Nique a good actress? What was God thinking when he decided to give Mo'Nique acting chops. Now we have to endure Mo'Nique comedy specials.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.
- Exercise
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- Nov 07, 2020
I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That's why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline.
- Empty
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Comedy Bar is an intimate club, which I prefer. I refuse to play theatres, because large empty spaces make me nervous, and I don't enjoy the echo. I'm no sell out. Literally.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I played a club in Salt Lake City, I complained to the crowd about the low turnout. It's always good to berate the people who paid to see you because you're upset about the people who didn't show up. It's called misplaced anger, and without it, I wouldn't have an act.
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
I feel completely fearless when I'm on stage. And also totally fearful. There's the fear that I'm not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there's the stronger belief that these things need to be said.
- Important
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I started out in the late '80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don't believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent.
- Down
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've always felt that there's a Catskills comic who lives in my head and is constantly trying to get out. There's all these jokes that have been passed down from Jewish generation to Jewish generation, which I love but which I've always made fun of.
- Hannibal
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- Nov 07, 2020
In the '90s, comedy was at a very low point, but these days, you've got people like Hannibal Burress, Ron Funches, Maria Bamford - people who can play any club, anywhere.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
There are so many people who just want a flashy object in front of their eyes and don't want to think at all; I find that disturbing.
- Handsome
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jimmy Fallon is handsome. This is an indisputable fact.
- Open
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- Nov 07, 2020
I can open up any can of worms and get people upset.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm still doing what I've always wanted to do, and how big it gets or how much money I make for it or how popular I am in the public's eye is really not that important, even though it's hard to let that go.
- Assure
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't know what Tracy Morgan does onstage, but I can assure you, it's no act.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020