- Die
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- Nov 07, 2020
Ali Wong Quotes
Most Famous Ali Wong Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I would love to dress like Beyonce: some custom-print, neoprene onesie with no pants.
- Pregnant
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- Nov 07, 2020
When you're pregnant, you're all gassy, and you're hungry, but then you're nauseous.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Stand-up comedy is something that you have to strive to do, multiple times a night, every night, to be good.
- Most
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think most feminists are very smart.
- Getting
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- Nov 07, 2020
I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information. As soon as she arrived at my house, I threw my baby in her arms and went to Target.
- Nov 07, 2020
I have a B.A. from UCLA. In ethnic studies.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third-world country. And she taught me that you can never throw away anything because you never know when a dictator is going to overtake the country and snatch all of your wealth.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some useful advice for all of my Asian-American brothers and sisters - never go paint-balling with a Vietnam veteran.
- Nov 07, 2020
Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now.
- Living
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- Nov 07, 2020
All I ever wanted to do was tell jokes for a living.
- Chinatown
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- Nov 07, 2020
For the first year I lived in New York, I never ate out. I literally just ate lentils and brown rice at home. Sometimes I'd treat myself to this half chicken from Chinatown that cost $3.50.
- Comic
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- Nov 07, 2020
In order to be the best comic, you have to perform in a wide diversity of rooms.
- Boat
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- Nov 07, 2020
The concept of 'diversity' was this big moral 'should.' And now with the success of shows like 'Fresh Off the Boat,' 'Empire,' 'Blackish,' and 'Jane the Virgin,' it's become this big business 'must,' which is so great.
- Baby
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've seen many female comics that a lot of people haven't heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
- Long
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- Nov 07, 2020
In giving birth, I knew that I would have to take a break after I had a baby; I just didn't know that it would be, like, six weeks long. Taking a six-week break was a very big deal for me. I have never taken that long of a break from stand-up other than my honeymoon, which was 14 days long.
- Food
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- Nov 07, 2020
My husband and I went to Japan for our honeymoon, and you look at, like, the presentation of the food, and it's ridiculous. It looks like a Mondrian painting or something. Everything looks like a bunch of little Hello Kitty erasers when you eat a little bento box in Japan. It's so precise and beautiful and processed and neat.
- Dessert
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- Nov 07, 2020