- Nov 07, 2020
You Quotes
Quotes that speak straight to you.
This collection gathers quotes framed around 'you' - from candid reflections on body image pressures passed down in families to observations about how humor can mask real vulnerability. Many touch on how what you know about yourself differs from how others perceive you.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Hair
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- Nov 07, 2020
Being a parent of a boy who wants to wear sparkles and grow his hair long - especially when you don't know where it's all going to go - it's hard stuff. I'm not being politically incorrect in acknowledging that, am I?
- Pregnant
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- Nov 07, 2020
When you're pregnant, you're all gassy, and you're hungry, but then you're nauseous.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Stand-up comedy is something that you have to strive to do, multiple times a night, every night, to be good.
- Gay
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- Nov 07, 2020
Being gay is not a terrible, tragic disease that requires prevention or treatment chosen for you by your parents.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third-world country. And she taught me that you can never throw away anything because you never know when a dictator is going to overtake the country and snatch all of your wealth.
- Nov 07, 2020
Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now.
- Comic
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- Nov 07, 2020
In order to be the best comic, you have to perform in a wide diversity of rooms.
- Food
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- Nov 07, 2020
My husband and I went to Japan for our honeymoon, and you look at, like, the presentation of the food, and it's ridiculous. It looks like a Mondrian painting or something. Everything looks like a bunch of little Hello Kitty erasers when you eat a little bento box in Japan. It's so precise and beautiful and processed and neat.
- Man
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- Nov 07, 2020
If we have a situation where a man is particularly graceful in a sport that rewards grace - say, for example, figure skating - why is it that we don't say to the man, 'Well, you're too feminine to compete?'... I don't understand why we don't find it offensive also to say to a women who's very strong, 'You're too masculine to compete.'
- Nature
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- Nov 07, 2020
We say, 'You may drink at the age of 21 but not at the age of 20.' Why? Because humans like to create terribly neat categories out of nature because it allows us a nice, tight social organization. The truth is, nature doesn't care that we like nice, neat social organizations. Nature likes variety.
- More
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- Nov 07, 2020
To be a trophy wife, you have to be a trophy. I am more of a commemorative plaque.
- Great
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every comic is taught that you're supposed to have a great seven-minute set and then get a sitcom. And I don't want to get the sitcom.
- Moment
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- Nov 07, 2020