- New
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- Nov 07, 2020
You Quotes
Quotes that speak straight to you.
This collection gathers quotes framed around 'you' - from candid reflections on body image pressures passed down in families to observations about how humor can mask real vulnerability. Many touch on how what you know about yourself differs from how others perceive you.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Mind
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- Nov 07, 2020
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
- Look
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.
- Time
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- Nov 07, 2020
The worst part was waiting around. Sometimes you are ready at 9 a.m. and you don't start until the afternoon. Occupying your time while you wait is the hardest part of the movie.
- Family
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every single person that spent a few bucks to buy a book that I wrote deserves a big thank you from my whole family.
- Mind
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- Nov 07, 2020
Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
- Nov 07, 2020
I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
- Point
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- Nov 07, 2020
There's no point apologizing about where you come from.
- Days
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- Nov 07, 2020
Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020