- Die
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- Nov 07, 2020
Woody Allen Quotes
Most Famous Woody Allen Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- God
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- Nov 07, 2020
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Dead
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
- Next
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- Nov 07, 2020
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
- My Own
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
- Grandfather
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
- Bad
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- Nov 07, 2020
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Done
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- Nov 07, 2020
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
- Evening
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- Nov 07, 2020
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Frozen
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- Nov 07, 2020
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
- Illusion
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- Nov 07, 2020
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
- Luck
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- Nov 07, 2020