- Modeling
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- Nov 07, 2020
Whitney Cummings Quotes
Most Famous Whitney Cummings Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Goals
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- Nov 07, 2020
I guess the verdict is in - I am not a sociopath. It's not effective or productive not to be nice. It would undermine the goals I want to achieve on any given day.
- Man
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- Nov 07, 2020
I remember my agent at ICM at the beginning of my career telling me that I wasn't pretty enough, that I was always going to be a quirky sidekick. And he was an ogre of a man. He should have been carrying a torch. If he was in a bar, he couldn't have come near me, and then he was deciding my fate.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
After school, I'd wait for someone to pick me up and no one would, so I'd be like, 'I guess I'll walk home.' I had to be a hustler, because nobody did anything for me.
- Face
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't want to look at myself - ever. All I see is that my face is a problem. It's asymmetrical. I get terrible bags under my eyes.
- Kind
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm kind of emotionally dyslexic, and when I feel vulnerable or nervous, I laugh.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I wasn't one of those kids who stole Richard Pryor records. I wasn't a comedy-nerd kid. I had no concept of stand-up. Actually, the only inkling of stand-up I had was I read one of Paul Reiser's books when I was, like, 12. I found it at a yard sale, and I carried it around with me for six years.
- Moment
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- Nov 07, 2020
I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was.
- Dangerous Place
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- Nov 07, 2020
The most dangerous place I've ever performed standup is in my home state of California.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Being known doesn't get you anywhere; it just makes the bar and the expectations higher, especially if the venue wants to charge a certain ticket price because you're known. So people are like, 'I paid $60 to see you, and you're on TV'.
- Fun
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've been making fun of Donald Trump - we all have - for 10 years, and just bringing up his name... I mean, even if you're supportive of Donald Trump, there's still a lot to make fun of.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
In my business, you have so many things going at once - TV shows, projects, movies - and sometimes, things never actually come to fruition.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm actually in this inauthentic armor.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I wrote a 'Lenny Letter' on a whim, and it felt indulgent, but people came up to me with tears in their eyes saying, 'Thank you.' There's so much shame about mental illness in our country and so many stereotypes about women being 'crazy' or 'psycho.'
- Hide
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- Nov 07, 2020
We're socially constructed to hide our flaws, and that breeds pain for a lot of people.
- Only
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- Nov 07, 2020
Stand-up. It's the only place I'm comfortable.
- Bad
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- Nov 07, 2020