Top 10 Dave Attell Quotes

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Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Men
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Nov 07, 2020

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

People
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Nov 07, 2020

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

People
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Nov 07, 2020

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Diet
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Nov 07, 2020

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Like
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Nov 07, 2020

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Performer
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm not like a performer type.

Confidence
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Nov 07, 2020

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

Like
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Life
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Nov 07, 2020

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Comedy
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Nov 07, 2020

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

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