- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Dave Attell Quotes
Most Famous Dave Attell Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
- Diet
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- Nov 07, 2020
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
- Performer
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not like a performer type.
- Confidence
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- Nov 07, 2020
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
- Comedy
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never wanted to be famous.
- Nov 07, 2020
I have no grand scheme.
- Doing
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- Nov 07, 2020
I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.
- Long
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- Nov 07, 2020
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
- Fight
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- Nov 07, 2020
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
- Nov 07, 2020
I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.
- Music
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not really a music guy.
- Nov 07, 2020
I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.
- More
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- Nov 07, 2020
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.
- Kind
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- Nov 07, 2020
Being on the road is kind of lonely.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
- Joke
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- Nov 07, 2020
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.
- Get
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- Nov 07, 2020
I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
- Reality
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- Nov 07, 2020