- Days
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- Nov 07, 2020
Sam Kinison Quotes
Most Famous Sam Kinison Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
- Lost
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!
- Morning
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- Nov 07, 2020
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm attracted to heartbreakers.
- Heaven
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
- Church
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- Nov 07, 2020
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
- Enough
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- Nov 07, 2020
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
- Get Married
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- Nov 07, 2020
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.
- Nov 07, 2020