- Days
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- Nov 07, 2020
Sam Kinison Quotes
Most Famous Sam Kinison Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
- Lost
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!
- Morning
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- Nov 07, 2020
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm attracted to heartbreakers.
- Heaven
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
- Church
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- Nov 07, 2020
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
- Enough
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- Nov 07, 2020
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
- Get Married
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- Nov 07, 2020
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.
- Nov 07, 2020
Everything can be satirized.
- Doing
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- Nov 07, 2020
So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?
- How
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
- Hell
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- Nov 07, 2020
It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
- Myself
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- Nov 07, 2020
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have lived a carnal life.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.
- Gay
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- Nov 07, 2020
Just because I do a few comedy bits about gay people, that does not mean I'm out there promoting some anti-gay cause.
- Gay Community
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- Nov 07, 2020
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
- Only
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- Nov 07, 2020
Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
- Give
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.
- Order
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- Nov 07, 2020
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Anyone can go out on stage and start beating people over the head with rubber chickens. That'll get people's attention.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.
- Entertain People
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- Nov 07, 2020