- Game
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- Nov 07, 2020
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Most Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best rodney-dangerfield quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Rodney Dangerfield Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Food
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- Hope
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- Nov 07, 2020
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't.
- Emotions
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- Nov 07, 2020
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
- Just
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- Nov 07, 2020
Life is just a bowl of pits.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
- Jealousy
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- Nov 07, 2020
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
- Girl
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- Nov 07, 2020
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
- Politician
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- Nov 07, 2020
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
- Know
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- Nov 07, 2020
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
- Birthday
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- Nov 07, 2020
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- Night
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- Nov 07, 2020
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
- Kept
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
- Birds
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- Nov 07, 2020
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
- Dog
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- Nov 07, 2020
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
- Egypt
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
- Boy
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- Nov 07, 2020
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
- Everyone
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- Nov 07, 2020
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
- Pet
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- Nov 07, 2020