- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Maria Bamford Quotes
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Day
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think taking vacations and turning off the phone and only doing emails or social media for a specific short amount of time helps with work/life balance. If I'm checking it all day I start to feel cuckoo-bird. So I just do it once or twice a day instead of a thousand. And then remembering that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, 'cos they always know where you're always going to be: you're always going to be laying in bed.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.
- Egg
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I'm following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it.
- Internet
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Internet makes everything much less mysterious.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.
- Pictures
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- Nov 07, 2020
I love that vision-board thing where you cut out pictures that resonate with you so they'll manifest. I've done that since I was three; I cut out pictures of ladies from the JCPenney catalog.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've lost all their teeth.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.
- Real
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.
- Personality
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality.
- Care
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- Nov 07, 2020
In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something about acting like I don't care, or if I act like I haven't spent enough time on it, it seems to go better. If I act like I'm really trying to sell it, it doesn't go as well.
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45 minutes home, or do another set. So in San Francisco we can hang out, go for dinner - the community aspect of it is really lovely, as well as seeing people's shows that you don't normally get to see a longer version of.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am a wild orchid of comedy, so I can only do well under specific conditions... There are people who I think can do any room, and do stadiums and thousand-seat theaters, and then there are people like me who just perform for my parents.
- Noble
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- Nov 07, 2020
The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes & Noble.
- Prayer
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- Nov 07, 2020
My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I thought that when you have more success that you'd feel more buoyed or feel more confident. But in fact my brain has the gift of switching it around and saying, 'Now people are expecting something. Now you're really going to let people down.'
- Joke
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell.
- Exponentially
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- Nov 07, 2020
My mom always does this thing where, the closer I get to home, the more she calls. 'Hey, listen, how's your plane? Did you land? Are you landing? Sweetie. Listen. We want to... ' The anxiety amps up exponentially as I get closer, and then I can't get out fast enough.
- Cards
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- Nov 07, 2020
My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister's website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets.
- Person
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've been stopped a few times by people who want to say, 'Hi.' But I'm an introverted person, and the idea that I'd have to talk to people all the time seems a little overwhelming.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something.
- Mental
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- Nov 07, 2020
People get really irritated by mental illness.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.
- Live
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- Nov 07, 2020
Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.
- Listening
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- Nov 07, 2020
I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.
- Hearing
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- Nov 07, 2020
Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.
- Because
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer.
- Irritating
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- Nov 07, 2020
I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because that's been said to me.
- Know
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- Nov 07, 2020
I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.
- Family
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020