- Living
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- Nov 07, 2020
Les Dawson Quotes
Most Famous Les Dawson Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
- Law
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- Nov 07, 2020
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
- Her
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- Nov 07, 2020
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
- How
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- Nov 07, 2020
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.
- Law
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
- Playing
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- Nov 07, 2020
I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,' and she'd say: 'Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.'
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
- Only
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.
- Chariot
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- Nov 07, 2020
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'
- Door
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- Nov 07, 2020