Tommy Cooper Quotes

Most Famous Tommy Cooper Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best tommy-cooper quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family.

Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Doctor
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Nov 07, 2020

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

Nov 07, 2020

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

He
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Nov 07, 2020

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'

Police
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Nov 07, 2020

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

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