- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Tom Segura Quotes
Most Famous Tom Segura Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Nov 07, 2020
Here's some advice: if something really embarrassing happens to your kid, don't take it on national TV.
- Comfortable
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've always worked toward, and felt comfortable with, you know, pausing and guiding the audience on a longer bit.
- Nicest
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not the nicest guy on stage.
- I Think
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think I'm a decent person.
- Personality
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- Nov 07, 2020
Standup is essentially part of your personality with the volume turned up.
- Fat
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people again and know for sure that they're fatter than me.
- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a sarcastic, observational storyteller.
- More
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't switch my act up to win over the crowd. I'm more like, 'You came here... this is what I do.' I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.
- Car
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like my shame straight up and honest, and nobody does it better than In-N-Out Burger. You go to In-N-Out Burger, and they ask you the most shameful question in fast food. 'I'll have a burger, fries and a Coke.' 'Will you be eating in the car?' 'Yeah. I think so.'
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
A lot of times, you land in a city, and you're like, 'This is not my people.' I'm gonna do the show, but you don't feel like this is for you. And then, some places, you just go and just fall into a groove, and you're like, 'This feels right.'
- Just
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- Nov 07, 2020
Vancouver just feels comfortable to me.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I always like it when I eat myself out of breath. That's a good boost to my day. You know, I'm eating, and I go, 'Oooohhh.' It's better a few moments later when you get to think about it, when you're like, 'Why did I just stop to take a deep breath? Oh yeah, my body also needs air.'
- Nov 07, 2020
I'll never be a TV writer.
- Being
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- Nov 07, 2020
I could see myself being on a TV show, but I think touring is something I'll always do.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think, to be a great conversationalist, you need to be interested in being in said conversation. Oddly enough, I think you need to be a great listener, and I do think I'm a good listener. I think that's my asset - I always listen to people when I talk to them, and that's a big thing you have to have in life and in podcasts.
- Big
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- Nov 07, 2020
I've never been a big party guy or super social.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't like big events and crowded areas. I'm almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I've been like that forever.
- Experience
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every person learns with time and experience.
- Much
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- Nov 07, 2020
I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.
- Make
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- Nov 07, 2020
You should make travel as comfortable as possible.
- Best
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- Nov 07, 2020
Traveling with kids is tough. My best advice is don't do it.
- Checking
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm definitely a jaded traveler, but you try to make the best of what you know about the experience. Like, I know how to pack a bag. I know that checking a bag is for rookies.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don't want to be like them.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020