- Nov 07, 2020
Roseanne Barr Quotes
Most Famous Roseanne Barr Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.
- Husband
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
- I Wish
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- Nov 07, 2020
I wish I'd done a tenth year of the 'Roseanne' show.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
- More
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- Nov 07, 2020
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
- Nov 07, 2020
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
- Feel
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- Nov 07, 2020
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.
- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
- Husband
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- Nov 07, 2020
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
- Man
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- Nov 07, 2020
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
- Most
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was completely nuts for most of my life.
- Here
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- Nov 07, 2020
Excuse the mess but we live here.
- Judge
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- Nov 07, 2020
I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.
- How
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- Nov 07, 2020
I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.
- Beer
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- Nov 07, 2020
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
- Control
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- Nov 07, 2020
Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020
I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think.
- Money
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- Nov 07, 2020
'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it.
- Enchanted
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- Nov 07, 2020
TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
- Live
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- Nov 07, 2020
I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
- Eat
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- Nov 07, 2020
Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
- Media
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- Nov 07, 2020
Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem!
- Problem
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- Nov 07, 2020
I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve.
- Hope
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.
- First
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- Nov 07, 2020
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
- I Am
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- Nov 07, 2020
I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty.
- Bidder
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- Nov 07, 2020