- Nov 07, 2020
Robert Orben Quotes
Most Famous Robert Orben Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Look
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Favor
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- Nov 07, 2020
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
- Now
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- Nov 07, 2020
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
- Government
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- Nov 07, 2020
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
- Only
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- Nov 07, 2020
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
- Ceremony
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- Nov 07, 2020
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
- Morning
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
- Nov 07, 2020
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
- Back
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- Nov 07, 2020
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
- Mouth
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- Nov 07, 2020
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
- Nov 07, 2020
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
- History
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- Nov 07, 2020
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
- Health
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- Nov 07, 2020
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
- Nov 07, 2020
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
- Day
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- Nov 07, 2020
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
- Great
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- Nov 07, 2020
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
- Best Part
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- Nov 07, 2020
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
- Feeling
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- Nov 07, 2020
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
- Fight
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- Nov 07, 2020
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
- Humor
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- Nov 07, 2020
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
- Know
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- Nov 07, 2020
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
- Desk
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- Nov 07, 2020
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
- More
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- Nov 07, 2020
Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.
- Humor
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- Nov 07, 2020