- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Erma Bombeck Quotes
Most Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best erma-bombeck quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Erma Bombeck Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Goes
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- Nov 07, 2020
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
- Hospital
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- Nov 07, 2020
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
- Food
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- Nov 07, 2020
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
- Go
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
- Could
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- Nov 07, 2020
God created man, but I could do better.
- Prepare
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- Nov 07, 2020
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
- Hope
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
- Marriage
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- Nov 07, 2020
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
- Gift
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- Nov 07, 2020
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
- Nov 07, 2020
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
- Football Games
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- Nov 07, 2020
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
- Laugh
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- Nov 07, 2020