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Demetri Martin Quotes

Most Famous Demetri Martin Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best demetri-martin quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family.

Last Updated on May 30, 2021

Man
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Nov 07, 2020

I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'

Nov 07, 2020

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

Money
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Nov 07, 2020

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

Name
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Nov 07, 2020

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

Me
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Nov 07, 2020

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

Fruit
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Nov 07, 2020

My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'

Breakfast
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Nov 07, 2020

I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.

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