- Game
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- Nov 07, 2020
Bill Maher Quotes
Most Famous Bill Maher Quotes of All Time!
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- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Getting
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- Nov 07, 2020
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
- Everything
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- Nov 07, 2020
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
- Intelligence
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- Nov 07, 2020
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
- Destroy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
- Learning
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- Nov 07, 2020
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
- Because
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- Nov 07, 2020
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
- Initiative
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
- Country
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- Nov 07, 2020
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
- Gay
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- Nov 07, 2020
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
- Next
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- Nov 07, 2020
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
- Hot
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- Nov 07, 2020
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
- Book
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- Nov 07, 2020
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
- Nov 07, 2020
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
- Birth
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- Nov 07, 2020
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
- Great
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
- Democratic
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- Nov 07, 2020
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
- End
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- Nov 07, 2020
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
- Free
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- Nov 07, 2020
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
- Patriotism
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- Nov 07, 2020
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
- Law
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
- Freedom
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- Nov 07, 2020
Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.
- Nov 07, 2020
Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
- Political
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- Nov 07, 2020
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest.
- Protection
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- Nov 07, 2020
It's all been satirized for your protection.
- Bill Of Rights
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- Nov 07, 2020
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020