- Men
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- Nov 07, 2020
Michelle Wolf Quotes
Most Famous Michelle Wolf Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best michelle-wolf quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Michelle Wolf Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Love
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- Nov 07, 2020
I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.
- Joke
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- Nov 07, 2020
A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.
- Bad
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- Nov 07, 2020
I always almost miss my flight. My routine is to constantly, no matter how bad or good the traffic is, to almost miss my flight.
- Eating
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- Nov 07, 2020
When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky and trail mix constantly.
- Joke
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.
- Daring
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- Nov 07, 2020
The more confident I am, the more daring I am.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
People can be successful for a short period of time, but only a handful of people are successful for decades.
- Favorite Thing
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- Nov 07, 2020
Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever.
- Joke
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- Nov 07, 2020
Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime.
- Company
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- Nov 07, 2020
Before comedy, I worked at a tech company, and before that, I worked on Wall Street. And, honestly, I've never really been sexually harassed.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
A lot of people want Trump to be impeached. I do not. Because just when you think Trump is awful, you remember Mike Pence. Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.
- Guy
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- Nov 07, 2020
Mike Pence is the kind of guy that brushes his teeth and then drinks orange juice and thinks, 'Mmm.'
- Like
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- Nov 07, 2020
Watching Rachel Maddow is like going to Target. You went in for milk, but you left with shampoo, candles, and the entire history of the Byzantine Empire. 'I didn't need this.'
- Fun
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- Nov 07, 2020
Republicans are easy to make fun of.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
The most useful information on CNN is when Anthony Bourdain tells me where to eat noodles.
- Growing Up
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- Nov 07, 2020
We cannot forget about Rachel Maddow. She is the Peter Pan of MSNBC. But instead of never growing up, she never gets to the point.
- Me
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- Nov 07, 2020
I don't want to be in a relationship for the same reason I don't want a kid: I don't want anything in my life to be more important than me.
- Lady
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- Nov 07, 2020
The jig is up: I'm not a nice lady.
- Feminist
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- Nov 07, 2020