- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
Jay Leno Quotes
Most Famous Jay Leno Quotes of All Time!
We have created a collection of some of the best jay-leno quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Jay Leno Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
- Last Updated on May 30, 2021
- Mad
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- Nov 07, 2020
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
- People
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- Nov 07, 2020
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
- Destroy
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- Nov 07, 2020
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
- Never
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- Nov 07, 2020
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
- Hands
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- Nov 07, 2020
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
- Idiot
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- Nov 07, 2020
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
- Good
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- Nov 07, 2020
I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.
- Mother
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- Nov 07, 2020
You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.
- Money
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- Nov 07, 2020
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.
- Home
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- Nov 07, 2020
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.
- Doing
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- Nov 07, 2020
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
- Lie
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- Nov 07, 2020
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.
- Dog
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- Nov 07, 2020
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
- Money
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- Nov 07, 2020
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it.
- Life
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- Nov 07, 2020
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.
- Magic
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- Nov 07, 2020
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.
- Funny
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- Nov 07, 2020
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
- Hope
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- Nov 07, 2020
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
- He
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- Nov 07, 2020
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own.
- Fat
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- Nov 07, 2020
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
- Behind
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- Nov 07, 2020
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.
- Down
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- Nov 07, 2020
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
- Night
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- Nov 07, 2020